I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
