Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
