i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
