I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
