I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We had to coat check the pizza.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
