I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
