i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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