I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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