Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
