Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
