I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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