So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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