this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
