love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
