I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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