I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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