): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize