Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Randomize
