remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
