carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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