I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
