Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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