Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
