The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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