yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize