My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize