Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
