We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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