He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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