No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
not ubering you a puppy
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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