my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
