were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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