They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
