but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
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Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
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He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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