i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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