i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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