D3 body, D1 cock
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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