Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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