He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
This toilet bowl is my home.
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