Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
