Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize