thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize