there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
