...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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