Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
