Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My vagina is officially offended.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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