Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
