it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
