Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
