just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How naked do you want me to be?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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