I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize