It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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