Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
