we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
