I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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