there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
